It is very important to know the reason for the breakup, both to put your mind at ease and to make the most of it in your next relationship. However, in reality, many people may not know the reason why they were rejected.
Why won’t you tell me why you were rejected?
Why won’t he tell me why he dumped you? If you don’t know why he dumped you, you may be left feeling bewildered.
However, the psychology of men who do not give reasons for breakups has a certain pattern. Let’s look at it in detail below. (By the way, this is for women who have been dumped by their boyfriends, as it is a little different from the psychology of women.)
How they feel when you don’t tell them why you dumped them.
① I don’t want to hurt you.
If your boyfriend has cooled off from liking you and wanting to stay with you because he “fell in love with someone else” or “can’t think about the future,” he may not tell you why he is leaving you because he doesn’t want to hurt you.
However, since he does not completely dislike you, quite a few people want to leave without hurting you if possible.
② I don’t want to make myself look bad by giving reasons.
The reason why your boyfriend does not tell you why he dumped you is because “he might make himself look bad if he tells you why,” i.e., the reason for the breakup may be something he feels guilty about, such as cheating on you.
Cheating may even lead to a lawsuit for alimony if the couple is talking about marriage, etc. If you are not careful, you may end up in a lawsuit for alimony. If the reason for the rejection is not known, there are often cases where the cheating is concealed and the couple breaks up because they were lied to without their knowledge….
③ It’s a hassle when they say, “I’ll fix it.”
How independent are you? This is a difficult question because of individual relationships and ideal distance.
“I’m tired of her being so restrictive.
She gets hysterical if I don’t text or call her often enough.
etc. “Her affection is too heavy” is one of the most common reasons for being dumped. In this case, the reason why the boyfriend does not tell the reason for the breakup is because it would be troublesome if he were to say, “I will fix the cause and I want you to reconsider.
In this case, he has given up on the future because he thinks he will never be able to fix the problem, so there is no need to bother giving a reason for the breakup.
Too much is too much. Both affection and jealousy can become tiresome when they become too much, so be careful.
Reason for rejection
So, what could actually be the “reason he dumped me” that he didn’t tell me? Let’s look at it in detail, because I think there are some things we can guess at in a way we don’t understand.
Incompatibility of sex｜Reason for rejection (1)
In cases where the cause is related to sex, such as “physical compatibility” or “frequency of having relations. In many cases, the partner may be concerned that it is a matter of compatibility, which is not necessarily the fault of either party, and that it may hurt the other party if he or she says something about it.
In many cases, the breakup is done in an unspoken way because they feel that it is difficult to talk about sex in the first place. It may be that the content is difficult to put into words.
We’ve been passing each other a lot.｜Reason for rejection (2)
If both of you are busy with work or have different life rhythms, your days will be full of differences. You may not be able to see each other when you want to, and in some cases, it may even be difficult to call each other. Sometimes you may not even be able to keep in touch with each other smoothly. These things accumulate and become frustrations.
You may think, “If I have to live with this kind of frustration every day, I’d rather break up with them,” and you end up putting an end to your life together. When you are busy, you have little time to spare, and small things can become a major cause of breakups.
I like someone else now.｜Reason for rejection (3)
Even though you may have had a crush and a period of infatuation when you first met or started dating, your feelings may gradually fade, or you may meet a new wonderful woman and your feelings may shift to her.
However, even if he has moved on to a new woman, he will never say to her face, “I’m tired of you. Just because you have moved on doesn’t mean you don’t like her. Even if you break up, many people don’t want to hurt the other person if possible.
He may not tell you the real reason for the breakup out of kindness or concern.
I can’t think about the future.｜Reason for rejection (4)
At a certain age, you will probably think about marriage. At that time, for some reason or another, they may not be able to think about a future with you. It could be his cooking skills, his income, his values, or sex….
He may not have had enough of what he needs for marriage in his relationship with you. A man who wants to get married will break up with you to look for another candidate for marriage as soon as he decides that he cannot think about the future.
I’m tired of being selfish.｜Reason for rejection (5)
It is cute for a woman to be a little selfish, but there is a limit. A woman should not be so selfish that her boyfriend will get tired of it. He may even get angry and say, “I’m not your butler or your wallet! He may even get angry.
He will say, “I can’t go out with a woman like this,” and will eventually dump her. If both parties do not feel that the relationship is fair, this kind of mentality is likely to occur.
I’ve been too lenient.｜Reason for rejection (6)
Similar to selfishness, too much pampering is another cause of breakups. Some men may not feel bad about being spoiled by their girlfriends, and some may inadvertently say, “It’s okay to be more spoiled.
However, if you take their words at face value and spoil her more and more, you will be seen as a “troublesome woman who relies on you for everything”.
As an adult woman, it is important to be independent. You should be an independent and firm woman in everyday life, but you should be just the right level of sweetness in front of him.
I’ve done too much.｜Reason for rejection (7)
Are you his mother? A woman who is devoted to her man is, of course, appreciated by him.
However, if she is too devoted, she will in turn become annoying. He may start to see her as his mother, or he may think she is a “woman without an opinion of her own” who listens to everything he says.
I understand that she is devoted to you because she loves you, but the act of devotion must be in moderation or your boyfriend will get tired of it. It is important to be moderate.
Not showing emotion.｜Reason for rejection (8)
It was during the Heian period (794-1185) that it was considered good for a woman not to express her feelings of joy, anger, sorrow, or pleasure. If her facial expression does not change all the time, it is difficult to know what she is thinking. Even if she says “I’m happy,” if her face is not smiling, you may suspect that she is lying. If a woman says she is happy, but her face is not smiling, you may suspect that she is lying.
Although we should not show our emotions hysterically, it is important to express our feelings to some extent. It is important to express your emotions, even if it is a little bit at a time, such as laughing, getting angry, or crying.
No desire to get married in the first place.｜Reason for rejection (9)
The pattern is that the man has no desire to get married in the first place. After a long relationship, talk of the future will inevitably come up. Even if you like being together and having a good time, if the “partner has no desire to get married in the first place regardless,” he may break up with you before the topic of marriage or the future comes up.
The other party doesn’t know any better.｜Reason for rejection (10)
In fact, this case seems to be quite common. Just as there is no reason for liking someone, there is also no reason for not liking them when they stop liking you.
The other person may not even know exactly what the reason is.” and you will probably get only a blurry answer. However, without really knowing, the fact is that they have come to the conclusion to part ways with you. There are feelings and situations that cannot be put into words.
Should I ask him how he really feels? Should we not ask?
Questioning the reason for the rejection will not change the current situation. But it is also true that you want to know the reason and move on to the next step with a clear mind. If you are really curious, it is not a bad idea to ask him why he dumped you. However, there are some points you should be careful when asking.
listen attentively
Don’t try to force them to listen to you when they don’t seem to want to say anything or seem uncomfortable. At the end of the day, it will only make a bad impression on them, and the possibility of reconciliation will become increasingly low.
I don’t ask again and again.
Just because someone tells you why they were rejected, it is not a good idea to be stubborn and ask them over and over again, or to force them to reconsider by saying, “I’ll fix it, so please reconsider. It is important to look at the other person and the situation carefully and think according to their feelings.
How to get back together with your ex-boyfriend
Whether you know why you were dumped or not, many people are not able to sort things out right away and want to get back together. How can you get back together with the ex you can’t forget?
To achieve a successful reconciliation, it is important to first have a firm grasp of male psychology. Let’s first remember the key points to make your ex-boyfriend want to get back together with you.
Understanding Male Psychology for Reunion
Even if a man dislikes her, he gradually forgets his bad feelings after a while.
Women may feel that once they dislike someone, they will remain disliking her. It may seem that the person who disliked her once will remain disliked. However, in the case of men, even if they temporarily dislike a girlfriend, the bad feelings will gradually disappear as time goes by.
And they tend to feel that all the women they have dated in the past were wonderful women.
This is the point where a woman’s desired reconciliation is more likely to succeed than a man’s desired reconciliation. By waiting until your ex’s bad feelings toward you fade away, the chances of getting back together increase.
Trying to reset after 6 months of time to get back together with him after a breakup.
Even if a man breaks up with a woman for some reason, it is still painful to break up with a woman he once loved and dated. There is a good possibility of reconciliation.
However, immediately after a breakup, there are many bad memories and dissatisfactions with you that were the cause of the breakup. Time will resolve such dissatisfaction of his. The time frame is about three to six months. The recommendation is to wait a solid six months.
The cooling down period varies from person to person as to the length of time needed, but in most cases it is about six months. After a solid six months, you should make contact with him to get back together.
Do not see or contact him during the six-month period. If you meet in the middle of the six-month period, you will have to wait another six months to drown out your past frustrations because they will resurface.
Create an opportunity to get back together with your ex.
Now that we know the psychology of men when they get back together, let’s check out how to create an opportunity to get back together.
Create a chance encounter｜A chance to get back together with him
Another way is to go out to a place where you might meet him about six months after the breakup and pretend to meet him by chance. If you can check your ex’s social networking sites, you can predict the location from there.
Although you are pretending it is a coincidence, of course you should go dressed in something that makes you look attractive. It is also important to be confident when you actually talk to him.
However, coincidences that get you approached may not work very well; if you can’t see or talk to him after about five tries, give up.
It is also important to stop at the right time, because this method can become a real stalker if you overdo it.
Send a Happy Birthday line on your birthday.
I recommend sending your ex a line on his or her birthday, just to say “Happy Birthday!” If you have received congratulatory messages from many people, it will be a natural way to blend in, and on the other hand, even if the congratulations are few, they are likely to be pleased.
Congratulatory messages for birthdays and other occasions are easy for the recipient to accept, as they are a natural way to get in touch with you, even if it is sudden and unexpected. Try to send only a simple congratulatory message without making the text too long.
Showing a clean and beautiful appearance
You liked each other once you were together. They must have liked your appearance, too. If they see you again after a long time, looking more beautiful and shining with more confidence, they must be interested in you.
It is a good idea to casually upload photos of yourself on social networking sites. Do not send a selfie directly to your ex on LINE, as it will be a little off-putting to him or her.
Long time no see! I’ll try to contact you.
It’s usually, “Long time no see! How are you doing?” is also a good way to send him a message on LINE.
If he does not reply, wait another three to six months before sending another LINE or other message.
If the timing is good, he will reply back, and if he is in a bad mood, you may not get a reply. That’s OK.
Reconciliation will work better if you take a long-term approach. Again, I recommend that you don’t be sloppy and long, don’t talk about yourself, and send it quickly first.
Ask for advice
call for adviceTherefore, it is not unnatural to ask such a person for advice.
It is important to ask for “serious” advice, such as about changing jobs to an industry that is similar to your ex’s work. However, avoid romantic advice, as it is awkward and can lead to strange tactics and complications.
Also, if you are half-hearted in your advice, he may detect your ulterior motives. It is better to ask him for a serious consultation. Don’t tell a lie, but think about what you want to discuss and talk about it seriously.
Even if the consultation is just for an opportunity, he is taking the time to talk to you seriously, so don’t be ungrateful to him.
Call you on a tough day.
One way to do this is to call them on a day when you are having a hard time.
You could say something like, “I’m sorry, I know I really shouldn’t call you, but I’m having a tough day and I need you to listen to me for a minute. If you call him with the attitude that you are the only person he can rely on, he will not reject you.
However, if he gives you advice when you are complaining or asking for advice, such as, “How about this? If he gives you advice, such as, “You should do this,” accept it with an open mind and say, “Yes, that’s right. You are not calling to ask for advice, but to talk to your ex. Do not argue.
And at the end of the call with him, say, “Thank you!” and end the call with a cheerful thank you. It is important to hang up here with a clean thank you.
Return what was owed.
If you have borrowed something from your ex, keep it securely until six months later and say, “Oh, by the way, I want to return that XXX I borrowed, where do I send it?” or something like that, you can contact him via LINE or e-mail.
This is a natural way to start a conversation. If it’s been a while, why don’t we go out for a light meal? This will naturally lead to a meeting and bring you one step closer to reconciliation. It is better to set a time in the evening or after work and invite them to dinner together.
Summary of points on how to get back together with him
How to make your ex want to get back together with you and create an opportunity for a successful reconciliation…
(1) Give it about 6 months and do not contact him at all during that time.
(2) Make a natural pretext and approach him casually.
(3) If the approach fails, don’t give up. Try again in three months.
Be careful not to become a stalker.
It’s a tough time after the breakup, but don’t get caught up in him and don’t forget to improve yourself. If you see him as a more matured person, it will be a good opportunity to make him want to get back together with you.
If you still have feelings for someone you can’t forget, please take a look at the above advice so that you can start over with him!
